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adashofinsanity in superslashbros

More than Just Books -Chapter One-

Title :"More than Just Books"
Genre: AU Humour
Pairings: IkexMarth and RoyxMarth (hints of IkexPit, RoyxPit)
Story Rating: R

In every workplace there's an employee who no one quite gets along with...Among every group of people...there's a pervert. Unfortunately, Zelda has two on her hands in her friendly, 'perfect' library. After loosing another employee to them both, she knows she has to resort to desperate measures. But what to do with two men who check out more than just books?

AN: I'm sorry I'm new to livejournal, and I haven't yet worked out how to display things as just a link...

Chapter One: Deception

"I'm really sorry m'am," exclaimed the trembling brunette, "I'm really sorry, and it's not like I don't…enjoy…working here, and there's nothing wrong with the job! It's just…it's just… I…I…" Zelda sighed, not again…

"Don't worry, Pit, you can be honest with me." She said in her best, and kindest, voice. The nervous new employee was sitting on the very edge of his seat, his hands were folded in his lap, and he looked incredibly shaken… And even though Zelda feigned ignorance, she knew what had happened. It was those two. It was always those two…

"I…I…" stuttered Pit, "It's…It's… There's nothing wrong with what I have to do! It's all perfectly fine! But…I just don't think, I fit in very well. My…my co-workers… I don't think I fit in, sorry." Pit had been working there for a month, only a month! The poor thing was innocent, Zelda had seen that from the beginning, but the only job available was with those two! Oh this was getting out of hand!

"You don't get on with your colleagues?" asked Zelda. Pit looked at his lap and started to tremble even more.

"Not…not all of them! Just…just…those…them…er…"

"You're talking about Mr Greil, and Mr Pherae, I suppose." Pit nodded. Zelda sighed and leant back in her chair, those two…

"Well if you feel like you must leave, then do so," said Zelda, "I'm sorry about this Pit, you were a credit to the work place."

"Th…thank you m'am!"

"I'll give you a good reference for your next job, just come here this time next week and I'll give you the paper," Pit nodded and stood up quickly. Zelda stood up and shook his hand.

"Keep in touch," she said. Pit nodded hastily and then fled out the door, out and away. Zelda knew she'd never see the young man again. It always worked like that. She'd lost count of how many young, innocent, employees they'd lost in the last year or so. They were so young as well… It wasn't as if this was a corrupting job either! This was a library! It was simple job…but so many had fled from it.

The library was situated in the centre of town, a large modern glass-fronted building that was frequently used by the public. It was short of nothing, books, computers, newspapers, everything could be found in this large library. The facilities were excellent, they had won many of the few awards that could be given to libraries. They had extra sessions for children, adults, teenagers, pensioners, the impaired, anyone really! You couldn't get a better library anywhere; well that was Zelda's opinion anyway. She ran the place.

However there was one thing missing from her little piece of wonderful. There were desks throughout the establishment, desks for checking books in or out, asking for titles, help, and guides for the sections of the library. Behind each desk was a member of staff, all eager to help. In the teenage fiction section stood a set of three desks, desks K, L and M. On desk K, worked Ike Greil,  on desk M, worked Roy Pherae, desk L…had been Pit's…but obviously was now without an occupant.  Desk L was the biggest blemish on Zelda's dream of the perfect library. No worked there for more than a few months! They all left trembling and quaking, just like poor Pit Icarus. Of course, Zelda knew why, how could she not?

It was always those two.

Roy Pherae and Ike Greil were friends of hers, she's known them since they were all ten year olds, playing on swings and blowing bubbles. She had given them work here and now…as much as they were her friends… they were really annoying her.  Before she had employed them, she hadn't known that in between the time of being at school together, and the present, both men, had developed a…preference… for young impressionable men. Namely anything, cute, nervous and above the age of seventeen, was exactly want they liked. And they made sure the object of their affections, knew ,what both of them were after… Zelda sighed, she had tried so hard to put those two in their place…but they were just impossible.  They needed someone to fill desk L, but the men on either side… She knew Roy and Ike had no idea that she knew what they were up to. But the groping, the flirting, the looks, they weren't being subtle AT ALL. No wonder Pit left weeping in the end….

Zelda stood up. She wasn't going to stand for this. She was going to talk to Ike and Roy right now and the infamous duo would have to listen to her…or she'd call in drastic measures. She shuddered at the very thought of what would happen to the daring duo then!  She left her office, ascended a flight of stairs, and then walked out into the main library. She headed straight for desks, K, L and M and sure enough, there they were, lounging behind their desk, the library wasn't very busy at the very moment, it was two in the afternoon, on a Wednesday, not exactly a peak period.

"And I swear, if he'd just…" Zelda strode up to them, cutting Roy off, mid-sentence.

"I need to have a word with you two," she said, sternly. Ike and Roy turned round and looked at her. Zelda decided to ignore the lapses in their uniform. Roy was wearing a short-sleeved red shirt, with black smart trousers, but he had a hooded jumper tied round his waist and were wearing very scruffy white trainers. Ike on the other hand was wearing a very baggy white long sleeved shirt, which was only half fastened up. He also wore smart trousers, but his shoes, though smart, were scuffed and muddy, what had he been doing? Trudging through a field?!!!

"Pit has just resigned," said Zelda, getting straight to business. They stared at her in shock.

"What!" said Ike, a pen falling from behind his ear onto the floor with a clatter.

"He was a good one too…" said Roy, miserably.

"YOU TWO HAVE GONE TOO FAR!" roared Zelda, Ike and Roy jumped in shock.

"I know you two are my best friends!!! But you need to stop harassing your colleagues! They are not there to be your sex toys!!! They are friends! STOP SEXUALLY HARASSING THEM!"

"Silence in the library!" taunted Ike. Roy burst into laughter as Zelda stood there absolutely fuming.

"That is irrelevant!" she stormed,  "You are scaring off every new employee I hire!!! And this just won't do! I am fed up of this immature, childish, perversity!!!" Ike and Roy glanced at each other. She saw them exchange a nod.

"But…but…Zelda… we have no idea…" started Roy. He had his most innocent look on. His eyes were wide and he put on a pouting expression.

"Why do you accuse us of this? Who's been lying about us!" said Ike, looking like a kicked puppy. However both sets of blue eyes were sparkling and if they were using their normal expressions, they would both have been smirking.

"We would never hurt new employees!" Ike continued, "We just want to welcome them!"

"Make them one of us!" said Roy, in his best whine. They made puppy dog eyes at Zelda as she stood there, hands balled into his fists.

"God helps the innocent thing that becomes like you two…"

"What do you mean!" said Ike, now sounding hurt.

"That was out of order Zelda!" said Roy, "You really hurt out feelings! We might cry now!" Zelda gave an exasperated sigh.

"There's no talking to you two, is there!"

"I don't know what you mean," said Roy. Zelda growled and turned, stalking back the way she came. Ike and Roy high-fived each other and started to laugh again.

"Shame Pit's gone though," said Roy, as they plonked themselves back on their chairs.

"He was a good one," said Ike, "Did expect him to last a little longer, but there you go."

"Is he the best we've had so far?" asked Roy, thoughtfully. He took a notebook out of his pocket.

"No…" said Ike, "Best one was that one we had in February, he had the best blush, plus the noises he made were amazing."

"Yeah," agreed Roy, "Rating out of ten for Pit Icarus?"

"Six," said Ike, firmly and decisively.

"Really?" Roy sounded surprised, "I thought he was a bit better than that."

"No he was a six," said Ike, "He didn't have the looks for a seven."

"Good point," said Roy, scribbling this all down. They sighed and lent back in their chairs, dreaming of what the next victim could be like. Perhaps he would be slim…and clever…a real book worm who thought working in the library was the coolest thing ever. As soon as they arrived, the duo could work their magic on them. Subtle flirting and light touches to begin with, of course. And the flirting would get more obvious and the touches more personal… And for dessert after all that… then they got to start removing clothing… they'd never completed that stage yet, but also, they'd never been done for sexual harassment yet, so it was a win-win situation.

"The next one better be good." Said Roy, looking at his notebook. This was where he and Ike had kept the scoring for everyone who'd ever worked with them, what they had been rated out of ten and then usually, Roy, who was the keeper of this information, would and extra comments, about why they had received that rating. It also included any photographs the two had managed to take.

"Zelda thinks we're such perverts," said Ike, laughing.

"We're not perverts," said Roy, "We're artists. One day we'll have a masterpiece…if they didn't keep resigning."

"Perhaps we should make the groping come later?" asked Ike. Roy rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, Ike?"

"I was joking!" said Ike, they both laughed again, and Ike continued, "Come on, that's the best bit!" They high-fived again and lapsed into silence, dreaming…more like fantasising…about who was next.


Zelda sighed as she looked at her mobile, which was a Blackberry, with some trepidation. Did she really want to unleash that onto her two best friends? But somehow she knew that she had no choice. Those two were out of order, and needed to be put in place…just not in the way that she would have liked. It was inevitable if she brought that in. She picked up her phone and dialled in a familiar number. She put the phone on speaker and then waited.

"Ah Zelda! Why the sudden call?!" said a cheery voice. Zelda heard a slight exclamation of pain from the other end of the phone line.

"What are you doing?" she asked, curious.

"Oh, just waxing my legs," said the voice, "And then I think I'm going to watch a bit of Fashion Fix. What are you up to darling?"

"Don't call me darling," said Zelda, irritably, "You've been unemployed for too long, haven't you?"

"Yes," droned the other voice, "And I suppose you want to correct that?"

"I can get you a job, skip the interviews and everything." The slight sounds of pain stopped completely, it seemed the person on the other end of the line was fully concentrating now.

"You've got me interested darling, now what's the FMP for this job?" Zelda sighed,

"Code Five."

"Oh darling, why didn't you say! Sign me up! When do you want me in!" Zelda sighed again. Poor Ike and Roy… they didn't know what they were getting let in for…

"Tomorrow," she said, if her friend's lives were going to ruined, she might as well get it done quickly.

"Sure thing darling! Stage One dress, ooh, red nail varnish or purple?"

"Just turn up," said Zelda, she put the phone down and then put her face in her hand. Oh goodness…what had she done…?

Ike and Roy sat behind their desk, drinking coffee.

"Why do no cute men ever come to this section of the library?" wondered Roy. Ike shrugged  and looked round, they were in the teenage girl literature section…that could be it… Perhaps some really gay young men could…

"Oh…oh these are my favourite books ever!" The two men whipped round in one motion as they heard a timid, nervously excited, but definitely male, voice float towards them so behind their backs.

"Well try not to be distracted," Zelda said, her voice was calm and patient. It was the tone of voice Ike and Roy had only ever heard her use with one type of person. New recruits! Roy took out his notebook so fast all Ike saw was a brown blur fly out of nowhere along with the blue blur that was Roy's pen.

"Oh this one is going to be good! I can feel it coming!" said Roy. Ike grinned as they both made themselves presentable and waited for Zelda and the new arrival to turn the corner.

"Just round here," they heard Zelda say.  They held their breath, this was it!

"You're working at the centre desk with Roy and Ike."

"Ok, m…m'am…"  Three…Two…One…

"Oh… my… GOD…"

"Hot dang!"

He was GORGEOUS!  Ike and Roy simultaneously pinched themselves to make sure they were dreaming. Surely they'd both fallen into one of their many, highly-detailed, fantasies? That….that boy…there was only one way to describe him  CUTE! CUTE! HOLY GOD ALMIGHTY HE WAS CUTE!!!  Blood started dripping onto the floor from Ike's nose and Roy could not stop himself drooling over his notebook as his pen sped across the pages at something close to the speed of light. He couldn't write enough! Oh god, oh god, they'd died and gone to heaven! LOOK AT HIM!!!

"Err…h…hello…my name is Marth…nice to…to meet you,"  Roy almost passed out with joy.

"I'm R…" Ike elbowed him forcibly out way.

"Nice to meet you Marth, I'm Ike." His eyes travelled up and down the man before him, taking in every glorious inch of him. Marth was shorter than him, but probably about the same height as Roy. He was perfectly slim and tantalisingly pale, with a pretty heart-shaped face, beautiful round sapphire eyes and his hair, which was a vivid royal blue fell in glossy bangs, framing the sheer beauty of his face. He was playing with the hem of his shirt which was an innocent long sleeved white item. He had done the buttons up wrong near the collar so it was slightly askew and a small expanse of pale flawless skin was exposed where his neck met his shoulder. It was a bit too big for him, it flowed down over his hips, which were hugged by black trousers, a bit on the baggy side, but oh god those hips…  Ike's gaze traced the curve and then down Marth's thighs….


"My name is Roy!" Roy had decided it was his turn to do the ogling. Ike was grimacing, Roy had hit him fairly hard in the chest, but his eyes had not left the new arrival. Roy shook hands with the newbie and as he stared he could almost see the halo and white feathery wings around the manifestation of pure beauty. So beautiful… so innocent… So his!!!

"It's lovely to meet you both," said Marth, smiling nervously. His voice was musical to the ear and Roy felt himself get tighter in the pants just imagining what he could do…and the noises that voice would make…

"Why don't you two go and get yourself some coffee while I show Marth the system. Go, shoo!" Roy and Ike left their desks, but their eyes never left Marth as they walked, slowly, towards the staff doors.  As soon as they were through said doors, they turned to each other.


"And we haven't even touched him yet!!!"

"Oh screw the first stage, let's get to the third!!! Roy couldn't help but agree with Ike's plan. This new one was just too good!

"Screw the stages, screw him!!!"

"No, we have to warm him up to it first!" said Ike, but he was smiling widely and Roy was practically bouncing where he stood. They went to get coffee, still scheming. Oh this was going to be BRILLIANT!


The first week with Marth was heaven on earth.  Every time one of them would, subtly, lean to the side, under the pretence of picking up a stack of books, or picking up a purposefully dropped pen, they would get a very good view of the new colleague's perfect behind, and when they got their hands on it… Marth would give the most adorable blushes and squeaks. Roy was somewhat jealous of Ike. He always got the better squeaks and whimpers, perhaps it was because he had bigger hands. However Roy had come up with his own methods just like his taller friend.  Marth wasn't very wise on the computer system yet so Roy would have to explain it to him. As he showed Marth how to use the system, on his computer, his arm would loop round the angel's waist and his hand would always come to rest on the boy's thigh. Marth would never react to it, even when Roy's fingers started stroking, he was too concentrated on trying to work hard. However, those blushes were always there, and Marth would shiver if prying hands got a little too close to certain…regions. Ike caught on to what Roy was doing so on Thursday, Marth had both men, very close, either side of him, both trying to touch him as much as possible. This caused a great deal of cute stuttering, blushes, squeals, and little whimpers of

"What are you doing?" He never got an answer, just two knowing smirks. Ike and Roy had never enjoyed a week at work more. Their favourite day, however, was Friday.

Marth was the first to arrive at work out of the three of them. Roy and Ike, who lived together in a flat on the other side of town, arrived about ten minutes after their target did, so when they appeared, Marth was already at his desk, helping an old lady scan in her books.  Once the lady had left Ike and Roy sidled into place and grinned at each other. Let the fun commence!

"G…good morning!" stammered Marth, as he looked at their grins. Roy was distracted by a member of the public who wanted to get a new library card, leaving Marth at Ike's mercy. Ike sat down on his chair and saw Marth was doing the same. Using his foot he hooked the support of the chair and, using it's wheels to his advantage, slowly wheeled the poor bluenette towards him. Marth gasped and looked around and spotted Ike's foot. He tried to shift the chair away, but to no effect, for Roy had now stopped dealing with 'customers' and had wheeled his chair next to Ike's and was quite determinately doing the same. In the end Marth ended up toppling out of his chair and falling straight onto the two waiting perverts.

"Sorry!" squeaked Marth, trying to leap up and away from them. But Ike and Roy held him fast.

"You've got to be more careful," said Ike, his voice full of mock-kindness.

"These chairs are vicious things," said Roy, gleefully, "You've got to watch yourself…don' want any accidents do you?" Marth gave a squeak as a hand came to rest between his legs. He began to tremble, it was one of Ike's, both of Roy's hands were on his shoulders.

"I…Ike!…R…R…Roy!" He stammered. Roy opened his mouth to say something when a loud voice said,

"And what are you three up to!" It was Zelda. Ike and Roy dropped Marth, who collapsed back onto his wheelie chair and scooted away very quickly. Zelda took in the smirks on Ike and Roy's faces and then looked at her traumatised new employee. She shook her head and walked away. Marth let out a little cry as if his last life line had been taken away. Roy just took out a camera and Ike and he spent the rest of the day enjoyably taking photos of the newbie's ass.

Life was good.

Zelda went back into her office and remained there for the rest of the day. By the end of the working day she was sick of the sight of it, so decided to go on a patrol of the library as it was closed down. The trio from desk K,L, and M had already gone home and she sighed and looked behind the desks…there were no traces of indecent activities…thank goodness. She went back to her office to collect her coat. As she entered she noticed something unusual on her desk. It was pink post-it note.

Deception Phase over, the real fun starts next week darling!


You said that you're new, so here's a link to using the lj cut function to shorten this entry. It's very easy to learn how to do.
Thanks very much!